I hate stupid people. Doubly so when I'm driving. There are people that just shouldn't get behind the wheel of a car and be allowed to operate it. I also live in Southern California, so it's probably a joy to be in the passengers seat when I'm at the wheel.
There are several categories of bad drivers. The most annoying ones are the assholes. These are the people that can't follow merging etiquette, taking turns one car per lane. They usually drive big, honking, gas-guzzling, make up for my erectile dysfunction vehicles (hence the name "Hummer" is astoundingly appropriate). These are the shitheads that also drive on the shoulder when traffic is backed up. They cut people off and drive way too fast in unsafe conditions. Many times they have a "No Fear" sticker on their cars. I'm just waiting for nature to select them out of the gene pool. They are almost always males in their teens and twenties.
Another annoying bunch are the obliviouos, self-important drivers. The kind that do some of the same stuff as the assholes above, without the spite. These idiots have an inherent sense of superiority vis a vis everyone else, i.e., the unwashed masses. Usually they drive BMW's, Lexuses (Lexi?), or Mercedes Benzs. They are equally distributed between men and their trophy wives with impeccable plastic surgeons.
The third group are the doddering, indecisive morons who drive on the freeway at 40 mph (in the fast lane), or who try to merge onto freeway traffic doing 25 mph. They also drive for miles with their turn-signals on and they are completely oblivious to the hazards they pose on the open road. Here is where the game comes in.
The first two groups are easy to identify because of the cars they drive. They are also likely to be passing you, rather than the other way around, so you can see them coming and think "asshole" or "rich bitch" well before they pass you. The third group, however is not so easily identifyable by vehicle. Typically, you will be passing them and will not see their faces until you can get around them. The game involves identifying their demographic. My wife and I call the game "Old or Asian?" Are they old or are they Asian? Whoever guesses wins. You can keep score on long road trips, or even to and from work. You would be surprised how the points rack up. You score two points if you are correct. You two two point if you are wrong. If the driver is neither old nor asian, you lose one point. If you really want to rack up the points you can guess "Old and Asian". That's worth five. It's worth only one if you are half-right, and minus five if the driver is neither old nor Asian. For extra style points, you can roll down your window and yell, "Thanks for perpetuating the stereotype!" You can play to a set score, say twenty, or you can play until the end of your trip. This is what keeps me from going on a kill-crazy rampage. That, and I don't want to go to prison because I have a purty mouth.
Before anyone jumps down my throat about being a racist, I want to point out that my wife is Japanese, and I am half Filipino. So fuck off.